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Archive for the ‘Marriage Equality’ Category

So, this is what our American government is now in 2017? These are our values? Building Walls, and banning immigrants and refugees at our borders. Telling the press to shut up, shutting off phone lines to the White House, which by the way, is the people’s house. Taking healthcare away from millions of citizens, telling women once again what they can and cannot do with their bodies, and so much more.  Being able to legally discriminate against LGBTQ folks is an Executive Order waiting to be signed, so; all races, creeds, colors and genders will be covered on your little trip to white, straight, male, Christian autonomy.

If you voted for the man whose name I will not utter, this is all on you. Every bit of it – it’s on you.  Then again; this is exactly why you voted for him, isn’t it? To discriminate, to alienate, to divide, to put women in their place, to rid your world of LGBTQ folks (that would be me), and you did it all in the guise of Making America Great Again.

I’m ashamed of you – all of you.

What you failed to even comprehend when you cast your bigoted vote for this man, is that when bad things happen to me, they are also going to happen to you. Unless you’re in the top 1%, you are going to suffer along with all the people you voted against. All those folks you wanted gone, and wanted to suffer, well… you’re going to suffer right along with all the rest of us.   So, good on you for voting against your own best interest.

Again, I’m ashamed of you – all of you.

You know you’re not patriots, right? You know you’re just racist, misogynistic, xenophobic, misguided, gun-loving folks, right?  Hillary never said she was coming for your guns, you just didn’t want a woman telling you what to do. And her evil emails… You do know that your president and his staff are now doing the same thing, right? Of course you do, but you don’t care, because you’re making America great again.

I’m ashamed of you – all of you.

We are not now, and we will not be united under the reign of this little, little man and his even smaller minions. It’s hard to unite folks when you’re throwing them in the dirt and simply walking over them as you go on your way.  It makes it hard to follow someone when you are losing everything and there is no lifeline for you to hold on to.

So, we are at war. Not with another country, but with each other in our own country. On the one side are those of us who believe in the Constitution and the rights and equality of every America–  and on the other – those of you who voted for this little man who is hell-bent on taking away everything our immigrant, refugee ancestors fought for.

Good vs Evil.  Dark vs Light.

There can be no compromise when it comes to oppression.

#resist

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Tradition and history tells us that we must accept the results of a Presidential election and move on. There have also been those people who have been taking pleasure in telling me I must “move on.” “move forward,” “suck it up,” and many other little phrases that have done nothing but infuriate me.

I’m not there yet. I’m not ready to “move on.” I’m grieving, and I’ll take all the time I need to grieve the loss of The United States of America as I have known it.  The America of immigrants and diversity. The America of religious freedom and a press who did the work and could call themselves journalists without fear of retribution.  The America where women were starting to make their way to being equal and gay rights were a reality, not something we spent years marching and protesting and dreaming of.

With the election of Donald Trump, my America is gone. Angry white voters made sure of that, and Republicans in the House and Senate will put the icing on that big white, gun-toting, racist, misogynistic, xenophobic, homophobic cake. Life as we all knew it, is over.

But, that’s what the disenfranchised voter wanted. That’s what they voted for, that’s what they honestly believe will “Make America Great Again.” No religious freedom, unless of course you are a Christian. No gay rights, but extra bonus rights for Christians to discriminate against “the gays.” No women’s rights, and again, extra bonus rights to the Christians who will do whatever needs to be done to not allow a woman to make any decisions when it comes to their bodies. No access to healthcare, unless you’re rich and can afford to go wherever you want.

The list of what he wants to do the first 100 days is stunning:  http://www.npr.org/2016/11/09/501451368/here-is-what-donald-trump-wants-to-do-in-his-first-100-days

So, no – I will not be “moving on” any time soon.  I will continue to support people of color, and respect people of all religions, and I will continue to send contributions to Planned Parenthood and any other organization this Administration will try and destroy.

And the moment this Republican run government starts to take God-given rights away from gays, immigrants, women or any other group of Americans, I will be marching and protesting and fighting – and I won’t be alone in that fight.

So, you all go ahead and build your walls, and ruin the land, and throw millions of Americans out of the Country. Go ahead and forget about equality and diversity and charity beginning at home.

At the end of your Presidents term, we will still be here. We’ll still be gay and transgendered, and Muslim and Jewish, and Mexican and women and democrats and independents and black and white and – well you know – Americans, and we’ll be more than happy to take our Country back when your little experiment has imploded on you.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”  Thomas Jefferson

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So, what happens after the winner is determined in this preposterous presidential election? Where do we all fit into the scope of what is now The United States of America? We’re certainly not united, nor are we even on the road to inclusion. I’m not sure there’s even a path…

Will all the meme’s and words that brought us to the point of unfollowing, blocking, restricting, and unfriending our “friends” on Facebook suddenly disappear? Will we simply just click the buttons and return to the way it was before this election brought out the worst of human nature?

For me; the answer to these questions and many more, are a real struggle.  There is family involved – family who have stopped speaking to me. Family who lectured me on doing what was best for the country, but when I made my choice, stopped speaking to me. No more discussion, no more anything…   How do you come back from that? How do you start the discussion? More to the point – is it a discussion worth having?

The thing is: A vote for Donald Trump is a vote against everything I believe is right and just in America.  He’s against basic human rights – gays, blacks, Hispanics, Latinos, Muslims, women – he’s against God-given human rights for those of us who fall into any of these categories. So, if you vote for him, you’re voting against these human beings – You’re voting against me, and millions of people like me – we aren’t just phantom people in a tweet or a stump speech. It’s personal.

Misogyny, xenophobia, homophobia, racism – you must believe in these things to vote for Donald Trump. You can try and spin it any way you want, but the truth is, if you can vote for him, then you have these feelings in your heart, and this I will never be accepting of. It’s not my vision of what I want America to be.

If you’re thinking: “I just can’t vote for Hillary” – that’s your choice.  Just don’t be naïve about who and what you’re voting for.  Own it, that’s all I’m asking.

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Saturday, July 16, 2016 was the annual San Diego Pride Parade – or as it’s known at our house – Reaffirmation Day!

Pride Parades are always a day filled with joy and love. It’s a day of singing and hugging and making new friends, and letting my soul be renewed in its gayness as I touch that big gay flag at the end of the parade.

But this year – this year was different.

This year it wasn’t just those of us watching that needed to be there. Those who were walking in the parade needed to be there also. They needed their souls to be renewed, they needed to be seen, they needed to be loved. It was like nothing I had ever seen before.

I had a San Diego Police Officer come over to me and take my hands and in hers and thank me for being there, for supporting them. Seriously? Through tears I told this woman: “No, thank you for being here for us.” There was a hug – and then she was gone.  My heart was just full.

There were over a hundred people marching under the Qualcomm banner. Cheering and waving with smiles of pure joy on their faces.

Walmart, HP, Bank of America, Wells Fargo Bank, The San Diego Padres, Harrah’s all there – all marching – all waving, all proud to be human beings not being judged or in fear of losing their jobs.

A high school marching band made up of gay kids from schools all over the county – marching and basking in the glow of the roar of the crowd as they passed by.  No fear of rejection or bullying or condemnation. Just love – lots of love.

Military personal – Army, Navy, Marines, Airforce, Coast Guard – all under the American flag, all walking tall and proud with some tears streaming down their faces.

Police, Firefighters, Sheriffs, Highway Patrol – all walking, riding, waving, hugging, smiling – all joyful.

Almost 4 hours of churches, businesses, politicians, community services walking, waving, singing, hugging, laughing, loving…

This is what happens when no one is forced to hide. This joy is what happens when people are accepted for who they are. This love is what happens when there is no fear of rejection, no thought of discrimination, no laws that divide us one from the other.

Whatever your political leanings may be, I simply ask that before you tick any box this November – you think about what can happen when people come together in love and the knowledge and acceptance that we are our brother’s keepers. It’s not about black or white or Hispanic or whatever ethnicity you may be. It’s not about being a Christian or Muslim or Jewish or whatever religion you may or may not follow. It’s not about gay or straight or transgendered. It’s not about men and women. It’s about the human race. It’s about all of us sharing this life we are blessed to be living.

Your thoughts should not be about hate and walls and guns and laws that divide us one from the other. Your thoughts should be about what you can do to unite us as a people, what you can do to make things better for you, for your neighbor, what you can do to stop discrimination, what you can do make peace in your family, in your community, in your own life.

For me, my peace is grabbing that big gay flag at the end of the parade. That’s where I promise myself to never look back, to never go back, to never settle, to help where I can, to hug and love and keep talking and writing until I’m no longer able to do so.

And grabbing that big gay flag is about love. My love for Susan, for my kids, for my grand kids, for my brother, my nephews and their wives and their families. For my friends, who are also my family, I want the world to be kind to them, I want them to grow up in a world where they are free to be whoever it is they are. Not who or what the world thinks they should be – but who they are.

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On July 16th I will celebrate my 14th San Diego Pride Parade. I remember my first Pride Parade in 2002 like it was yesterday.

I was 49 years old, still mostly in the big gay closet, but trying really hard to make myself understand it was okay to swing that closet door open. I had made a mess of my life, and I was finally on the way to making it not quite so messy.

I was with the woman I was meant to be with, but… One foot was still firmly ensconced in that closet.  That closet of wondering how many members of my family will walk away, how many friends will I lose, how do I possibly tell my parents, how do I live my life without having to lie? 

This Parade was like nothing I had ever seen, and as it was coming to an end, my sweet Susan told me I needed to go get under the big gay flag. As it came around the corner I went out onto the street and I grabbed on to that big gay flag, and my emotions just overtook me. I cried tears I didn’t even know I had. It was the turning point in my life. I’ve never looked back; and I’ve never again questioned who I am or wondered if my life had any meaning.

I go out onto the street when I see that big gay flag coming around the corner and I reach up and grab on to it every year. I cry tears of relief and happiness and joy that I had this Pride Parade to show me that my life had meaning – that I mattered – that there were people just like me who suffered and agonized with all the same fears and feelings I had.

For those of you who may wonder if Gay Pride still matters, I can tell you from personal experience – Yes, it most certainly matters.

It matters because we, as a people, ­­­matter.

It matters because there will always be those who are trying to swing that closet door open and find a safe, accepting world to step out in to.

It matters because a Father won’t claim his dead sons body from the worst mass shooting in the United States because his son is gay.

It matters because laws are made specifically to discriminate against LGBTQ Americans.

It matters because politicians still spew hate-filled rhetoric against us to garner votes.

It matters because LGBTQ kids are homeless and alone and need to know their lives matter.

It matters because some religions preach a gospel of hate and loathing.

It matters because – well because every life matters.   Period.

If you are lucky enough to go to a Pride Parade and they have that big gay flag at the end – embrace it.  Let it float over you and surround you with love and peace and joy in who you are and know that your life matters. 

If there is no Pride Parade where you are, know in your heart of hearts that you are surrounded by a big gay flag. Know you are loved. Know that your life matters.

Every life matters.

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I’ve spent some time thinking about the whole Kim Davis-Wallace-McIntyre-Davis / Pope thing.  I wanted to just go off and vent, but…  I took the higher road and just let the whole thing play out.

Now, there is the: Well the Pope met with his gay friend thing, and the Pope never asked to meet with Mrs. Davis-Wallace-McIntyre-Davis thing, and it’s an Archbishop who liked Pope Benedict and wanted Pope Francis to look bad thing.  It’s like a scene out of the halls of a Junior High School.

Blah, Blah, Blah…

It’s left me to wonder a few things.

  • When does religion trump friendship?

I ask because Pope Francis called to meet with his gay friend, and yet – in the religious world in which he is the head – he doesn’t welcome his friend, he doesn’t honor his friend, and he would never officiate at the marriage of his friend.  So – he’s his friend, but he has conditions on that friendship.

Is that really being a friend? The whole I love you, but I can’t support your wanting to marry the person you love, and you’re not really accepted in my church thing – Is that really a friendship based on love, respect, compassion? Is that really a “I’ll be there for you” sort of friendship?

  • When does religion make lying okay?

I ask this because Mrs. Davis-Wallace-McIntyre-Davis has these lawyers who are affiliated with Liberty University Law School/Jerry Falwell Ministries.  They have outright lied, been caught in the lies, and yet continue to lie.

They have an agenda, an anti-gay agenda, and they stop at nothing to continue their quest against the homosexual. Sort of like a crusade.  What sort of religion is that?

I have many more questions, but mainly I wonder why these folks who profess to be Christians don’t follow their Jesus.  Not the dogma of their church or the beliefs of their hate-filled leaders – but their Jesus.

I mean, if you have to follow someone, why can’t you follow the Jesus who loved and respected everyone. The Jesus who walked among the dregs of society and washed their feet and blessed them and told his disciples:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

I don’t see any conditions there, any judgments, any restrictions. And yes, I know there are other rules from Jesus, but really – isn’t this one the most important?

Why do people insist on making it so very complicated?

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