Who are we to bully our way into equality?

How morally correct is it to continually badger Democrats until they agree that marriage equality is the right thing?  Are we really changing hearts and minds or are they simply changing their opinion to get the press off of their backs?

For the past few days The Huffington Post has put the pictures of the Democratic Senators who oppose marriage equality on their front page.  I’m a lesbian – and I found this to be offensive. I don’t want someone to change their vote to get the press off of their back – I want them to change their vote because they believe it’s the right thing to do. I want them to vote for equality because they know in their hearts it’s what is right and just for every American.  I want them to vote their conscience – I want them to vote what they believe.  They should not be bullied into voting a certain way –

These Senators may have been bullied into their vote – but if they still look at gays and lesbians and think: Fags and Dykes – ick…  then you have accomplished nothing. If anything – they may be even more entrenched in their homophobia and in that – we haven’t gained any ground at all – we’ve actually lost ground.

Is it only about their vote – or is it about changing hearts and minds? I can guarantee you that to bully someone into doing what you want will not change their mind. We may get their vote, but they will never respect us or care about our well-being or think of us as anything but a bully.

Personally – I’d rather have their respect. If I have their respect – there is always a chance I can change their heart and their mind

I don’t want to have to bully my way into equality – I want equality because it’s the right and just thing for every American. To bully our way into anything makes us no better than – well – you know who you are…


About barbaraweicksel

My home is San Diego, CA - a most beautiful city. Mountains to the East, Pacific Ocean to the West, and the desert in between the mountains and the ocean. Beauty everywhere, but... The world is full of beauty, and I do love to travel. what I hope to share on these pages are my thoughts and some photos of the world as I see and experience it. I'd be happy to have you along on the journey - and then join me while I'm at home...
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1 Response to Who are we to bully our way into equality?

  1. My sweet friend…I could not agree more. Yes, there is that warrior part of me that wants to storm the castle and force people to see that we are no different from them, save the fact they think we are different.

    On the one hand, I have long said (and still very much believe) that we cannot legislate people’s hearts. Instead, we must continue to fight for education and valid information to be distributed to the masses. We must battle our way to equality one person at a time – not by storming in, but by loving, educating, and informing.

    But if that doesn’t work…if putting all the proof/info/study results right under their noses in a way they can grasp and understand fails to sway their opinion? That’s when we move to the other hand, where storming in with the ‘gay cavalry’ becomes our only option. Why do I say this?

    Look at public opinion (especially down South here where I’m from) on African-Americans. If they as a group had refused to crash through those doors to equality and freedom simply because they wanted to wait until they were accepted and respected as human beings deserving of such rights, they would still be waiting.

    I’m not saying bullying is the answer, because bullying of any type is NEVER the answer. What I am trying to get across is that while we definitely need to continue all study/research and education, and that we need to make it our mission to inform the general public by example that we are just like everyone else (only more accepting); we also must pay close attention, readying ourselves to fight for who we are as a community and who we love as individuals. Some things are just too important to leave to the wavering, ‘for sale’ legislators to catch up emotionally with our rights and needs.

    Sometimes, my friend, we come upon a castle that just needs storming. And I, for one, am ready.

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