Who Are You to Judge Jodie Foster?


I’m sorry, I don’t understand all the fuss about Jodie Foster and her alleged “coming out” at the Golden Globes last evening. Gay writers and bloggers are angry that she didn’t come out 15 – 20 years ago; she could have done so much for the gay community, blah, blah, blah…

I don’t understand this whole philosophy that exists by some in the gay community that doesn’t tolerate any sort of weakness when it comes to gay celebrity.  This whole thing that says if you’re gay, and you’re any sort of celebrity, or have any sort of power, it’s your responsibility to pave the way for every other gay person in the world.

I don’t believe its Jodie Foster’s responsibility to make my life easier. I don’t believe it should be the job of any celebrity to make my life easier. Their job is to make me laugh or cry – you know – entertain me. What they do when they go home is absolutely none of my business.

Every gay person has a coming out story. It’s private, it’s personal, and it’s not to be judged by anyone. How can any one person judge the journey of another human being without sounding snide and just a wee-bit arrogant?

There was no way I could have ever come out before I did at the age of 50. I don’t believe that makes me a coward – I just believe it was my life, my circumstances, my choices. I knew the moment I made the decision that my life would most surely change, people would judge me, and I would never again look at the world through the same eyes. It’s scary, and it’s probably the loneliest I have ever felt in my life.

It’s not as easy as just saying I’m gay. Once you say it – your life changes. The way people look at you – changes, the way people speak to you – changes, the way people treat you – changes, basically – everything changes. You instantly become one of the “other,” one of the freaks, one of the queers, one of the “those kind of people.” I can understand the years it may take to have the courage and the strength to face all of that.

Even after one makes the life-changing choice to “come out” we all don’t want to stand on a soap box and preach, or shove our gayness into the faces of the non-believers. Some of us just want to live a life of truth – our own truth. Some just want to live a quiet life of dignity and respect filled with the love of friends and family who know who they are and love them unconditionally. Those who choose the road of privacy deserve the same respect as those who choose the road of activism.

For in the end, isn’t everyone who has made the choice to come out made their own statement to the world?  Haven’t they changed the world just a little by speaking their truth?  We should celebrate Jodie Foster and her courage, just as we should celebrate each and every gay person who has the courage to say: Hey world – This is who I am…

Now go and hug on each other…

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About barbaraweicksel

My home is San Diego, CA - a most beautiful city. Mountains to the East, Pacific Ocean to the West, and the desert in between the mountains and the ocean. Beauty everywhere, but... The world is full of beauty, and I do love to travel. what I hope to share on these pages are my thoughts and some photos of the world as I see and experience it. I'd be happy to have you along on the journey - and then join me while I'm at home...
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3 Responses to Who Are You to Judge Jodie Foster?

  1. Safe_Bet's Amy says:

    “It’s not as easy as just saying I’m gay. Once you say it – your life changes. The way people look at you – changes, the way people speak to you – changes, the way people treat you – changes, basically – everything changes. You instantly become one of the “other,” one of the freaks, one of the queers, one of the “those kind of people.””

    You’re right, it ain’t easy. In fact it is damn hard and, often, just plain dangerous.

    That’s why I have to kinda, sorta have to disagree with you. In the beautiful, talented Ms. Foster’s case, she has always be out. She might not have used the fact for self promotion or as her sole claim to fame, but it’s not like she kept it a deep dark secret.

    My only wish is that she would have felt more comfortable being vocal about her orientation earlier because it might have eased the way for a bunch of other people who didn’t have her fame, money and power to protect them.

    Either way IS a personal choice and I respect every lesbian and gay’s right to choose when, or even if they come out, but I also greatly much more admire those who put themselves out there as role models.

  2. mark says:

    So have to agree, I’m a couple of years older than Jodie and i don’t believe that its anyone’s business to criticize or berate someone when they come out publicly whether it be a celebrity or whoever. The whole process is a very personal journey. It would have been nice to have a role model such as Jodie Foster when i was in my 20’s but in the 1980’s that was still so taboo and would have probably destroyed many a career if some of the Hollywood elite would have admitted they were gay.

    I don’t thing someone like Jodie or Anderson Cooper or anyone else owes me anything to help me. Nobody can live your life for you. To all of the haters out there in the community and the blog-sphere, they really need to grow up and do for themselves like the rest of us have. I can say that I have helped pave the way for the younger generation by being one of those vocal people when i was in my early 20’s and going to the pride marches and rallies, and sit-in’s and every other whatever it was. But that was MY personal choice to do that.

    Major kudos to an amazing talent such as Jodie Foster for finally feeling comfortable to speak about her personal life as she did. My only hope is that one day we don’t have to have these kinds of discussions and being gay will be no big deal anymore and we will all have the freedom to live our lives the way we are meant to and the way we want to.

    • barbaraweicksel says:

      Mark – Thanks for the reading and for taking the time to comment. “My only hope is that one day we don’t have to have these kinds of discussions and being gay will be no big deal anymore and we will all have the freedom to live our lives the way we are meant to and the way we want to.” All I can say to that is: Amen. Thanks again for being here..

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