Chick-Fil-A and the Gay Oreo Cookie.

I just spent a week in the bosom of my family – not by choice – but because my mother passed away suddenly and I went home to honor her memory and lay her to rest beside her Mother and Father.

To be clear – most of my family has no idea who I am.  I left the place of my birth and the people with whom I share a blood connection over 30 years ago, and most of them don’t understand why I left or why on earth I haven’t returned! In their minds-eye I’m whatever age they remember me being before I left the little village we called home.

Also, to be clear –

The discussion of my being gay seems to permeate conversations whenever I’m around some of these people with whom I share DNA. I don’t know why – it fascinates and sickens them at the same time.  I was hopeful since I was there to bury my mother they might lighten up on such things and simply let me mourn in some sort of peace the week I was there.

I was wrong.  Throughout the week – this was my experience:

I was told that my family loved me and that they wanted me to make an effort to be a part of the family once again.  They didn’t understand the whole “gay” thing, and they still believe it’s a choice I made, and the Bible still says it’s wrong – but – they want me to feel welcome and loved…

Yes sir – warm and fuzzy – that’s how I was feeling.

For the sake of peace and harmony – I tried to hug one of the Bible relatives to thank her for bringing a desert to the church for my mother’s service, only to have her recoil like I had a gun to her head. She couldn’t look at me and walked past my partner Susan as if she didn’t even exist.

Oh yes – welcomed and loved – I was feeling it.

I was also informed that there was no way they were going to stop eating at Chick-Fil-A and if that upset me – well that was too bad.  Besides – why should I care where they eat they asked me.  They don’t care where I eat. Even after Susan explained to them where the money goes and what the money does – They informed us that they wouldn’t be giving up their chicken sandwich, waffle fries and sweet tea for nobody!

And – by the way – why do I have to write so much about gay issues? And why am I making such a big deal out of it? And – Why do we gay people have big parades and our own Oreo cookie?

Lord… Give me strength.

I came to the sad realization that there are members of my family who are just hate-filled people who believe that their religion gives them the absolute right to treat me with no respect and condemn my sick little soul to hell.  So be it.  Condemn away…

I also came to the sad realization that there are members of my family who are content to stay un-educated and ignorant to the fact that there is a world that exists outside of the confines of their little village. A world filled with wonder and excitement and diversity.  A world where stuffing isn’t considered a vegetable and going to Chick-Fil-A isn’t considered a night on the town!

On the other hand – I came to understand that there are members of my family who love me with no strings attached. They love me for me; they hugged me to death and comforted me and made me feel safe. There was no talk of Chick-Fil-A or anything gay – I was simply cared for in the most loving of ways.

And my sweet home-town friends who were there for me – no questions asked, with smiles and hugs and more love than I could have imagined. These are friends of the heart – not friends of the road.

The world is filled with the Chick-Fil-A eating crowd – Bless them – and let them go.  I won’t stop writing or marching or protesting their ignorance no matter how they wish that I would – and that gay Oreo cookie? I’d send a case to every Chick-Fil-A loving member of my family – if the cookie really existed!

About barbaraweicksel

My home is San Diego, CA - a most beautiful city. Mountains to the East, Pacific Ocean to the West, and the desert in between the mountains and the ocean. Beauty everywhere, but... The world is full of beauty, and I do love to travel. what I hope to share on these pages are my thoughts and some photos of the world as I see and experience it. I'd be happy to have you along on the journey - and then join me while I'm at home...
This entry was posted in 2012, beliefs, burial, California, Change, Courage, death, faith, family, food, friends, gay, Gay Rights, going home, High School, home, Hometown, homophobia, life, love, religion and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Chick-Fil-A and the Gay Oreo Cookie.

  1. First of all, I’m sorry your mother passed away. I hope the Holiday season is a happy one for you and is not a time of year that you come to think of as a time of loss.

    Secondly, there is not one verse in the Bible where Jesus walked up to someone and said the things your family has said to you. It’s not something that he taught. CHRISTIAN means FOLLOWER OF CHRIST. If you’re following Christ, you’re following his example.

    You mention religion in your post, what you’ve heard is religion and has nothing to do with God. If Jesus led us to walk around pointing out what we deem as sin we’d never have any time to do anything else. Gluttony, lying, adultery, gossip and hate are sins, but it’s not my job to police them. I don’t know a single Christian who isn’t PLANNING on eating too much at the Thanksgiving table tomorrow. They even joke about it, and it’s not my

    It IS my job, as a Christian, to introduce people to Christ. What you describe is not an introduction to Jesus, it’s condemnation. I’m sorry you have to deal with it. It’s not right, and it’s not Christian.

  2. Debi says:

    No wonder THIS is not your home anymore 😦 Being the week of Thanksgiving you can say that you are fortunate enough to have friends and extended family that love you for YOU and what you stand for. People who can look past the bias and hatred that most of us grew up with. I am proud of you for you and blessed that we now through technology have the opportunity to read your writings and experience life through your eyes. Be proud of who you are and move on. Feel sorry for the ones that can’t.

  3. It’s also my job to proofread my comments before I hit the submit button. 😦

  4. I am glad you shared this. It helps people understand just how difficult it might be to show people who you really are. Sometimes they just choose not to understand it. I think your real home is elsewhere, it is always going to be with people who love and understand you. I always found it difficult to fit into the mold of my siblings, and I gave up trying to be what they assumed was normal and perfect. My differences were being open, a creative, artistic, liberated and a critical thinker. I could no more fit into what they were touting as normal than the man in the moon in drag. What they thought and who I was, who I dated, who were my friends was so out of the norm for them that I was apparently not to be taken seriously. Anyway, I have the good marriage, the successful kids and the happy home. They don’t. Funny, isn’t it? So I think your ‘home’ is with Susan and it is a loving successful one. The people who loved you back home still do, the others are no great loss, only designed to be hurtful at a vulnerable time in your life. Those people are not needed.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s