I got an email this morning from my ex-husband. Whenever I turn on the computer and see his name in the in-box, my heart stops for a few seconds. See – We rarely speak and when we do it isn’t always pleasant or mature. Sometimes it’s just down-right childish.
But this morning he wrote to tell me that his Father had passed away last evening. He just thought I would want to know. My emotions surprised me as I was sad – very sad – at the news. His Father was sweet and funny and always made me smile. He had nick-names for everyone, but he could never come up for one with me. That should have been some sort of foreshadowing that the marriage would never work!
I shot off an email back telling him how sorry I was – and that his Dad had always made me smile, and I thanked him for telling me.
He emailed me right back telling me that his Dad had been ill and that it was a blessing of sorts – and he wanted me to know that his Dad had always liked me.
I sent a message back to him telling him that even if it was a blessing – it was still his Dad, and I told him not to do his strong man imitation – to just feel however he was feeling and be okay with that. I told him I’d be thinking of him – and I most surely will.
The thing that I get this morning is that my ex-husband and I have this thing… We’re friends. Underneath all the crap, away from all the noise of the world – we care about one another. We had been in each other’s lives for over 30 years before we divorced and as hard as one tries – one cannot run from history. It will follow you… everywhere.
This morning, my ex-husband needed his old, familiar friend, and I was there for him. I found I didn’t want to be snarky or pissy or condescending. I wanted to make him smile and remember happier times, and give him some sort of comfort. I hate to say it; but I think I’m maturing!
The next conversation may be childish and not pleasant at all, but this morning – this morning we were old friends giving comfort to one another – remembering a kind man who made our lives just a little better by being a part of it.
Rest in Peace, Pop.