Don’t Ever, Ever Question My Character.

I had someone question my character this week.  Someone I thought was a friend, someone I thought had my back, someone I thought cared about me, someone who is a member of my family – blood – you know – the tie that binds…

I suppose I had it coming as I told her I had stopped her pictures and sayings from racist, homophobic, anti-Obama pages on Facebook coming to my news-feed. Let’s be clear – I never called her a racist or said she was homophobic – I simply said I didn’t want that crap coming on my page.

She informed me that she most certainly was not a racist or homophobic, and that perhaps I was the one who had a problem with my being gay as all I do it write and talk about it. She knows 2 gay men who weren’t offended, so it was me – I had the problem – I was wrong.

Lordy – does she not understand that it’s because of people like her that I have to write and talk about it all the time?

I understand that the world is full of racist, mean-spirited, hateful people. I mean just look at the lines of people wanting to buy the hater-chicken, all under the guise of the gays taking away their First Amendment Rights.

My feeling is this – don’t hide behind a chicken sandwich and an open Bible. Be honest with yourself, and just tell the truth.  There will never be an honest dialog about anything unless and until we are all truthful.

I will admit that I’m a complex person – I can be moody at certain times, I lose my temper too quickly on occasion, I like Notre Dame Football, I watch the Real Housewives of Everywhere, I think Sean Connery was the best 007, I sing at the top of my lungs when I watch Mary Poppins, I cry like a little girl at the end of Field of Dreams, I love chocolate marshmallow ice cream, I love and hate the San Diego Chargers,  But I never, ever question who I am.

What my family and all those folks in line to buy the chicken don’t understand is the courage it takes to realize who we really are and then live our lives.  It’s not like we just say – yep – I’m gay and the whole world welcomes us. We say to ourselves – OMG I’m gay – what now? How do I tell my family and my friends? Will my church throw me out? Will my family throw me out? Will I get fired? Will I get beat up walking down the street? Will the kids at school bully me? Will I have the strength to live my life? It’s not that we gays live a courageous life – it’s just that sometimes it take courage to live a life.

It doesn’t take courage to hide behind the Constitution, open a Bible or say: I’ll have a chicken sandwich, some of those waffle fries and a large sweet tea.

It does take courage to say: I don’t like the posts you send, I don’t like your ant-gay religious talk, and I’m done being silent.



About barbaraweicksel

My home is San Diego, CA - a most beautiful city. Mountains to the East, Pacific Ocean to the West, and the desert in between the mountains and the ocean. Beauty everywhere, but... The world is full of beauty, and I do love to travel. what I hope to share on these pages are my thoughts and some photos of the world as I see and experience it. I'd be happy to have you along on the journey - and then join me while I'm at home...
This entry was posted in 2012, beliefs, Change, Courage, evangelical christians, faith, family, friends, gay, Gay Marriage, Gay Rights, home, homophobia, human rights, Lesbian, life, love, politics, religion, Women. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Don’t Ever, Ever Question My Character.

  1. Cheryl Walters Wentz says:

    You summed it up, sister. Keep writing.

  2. Sometimes you need to say what needs to be said, as you have done here. Brava!

  3. Elisa says:

    Great job – keep saying it, keep being exactly who are.

  4. kurleekaytee says:

    It hurts terribly to have someone you care about, or anyone actually, tell you that you are unsure of yourself, or insult the things you care about most. If they have a gay family member, and they post those things, they do not have the right to become shocked or angry if someone is offended. Im so sick of the “i have gay friends and they agree” statement. Have some sensitivity to your family and friends.

    I am dealing with the same issue with my girlfriend’s family. They are always posting the same anti-obama and pro chik-fil-a crap. They cant understand why those issues hurt us deeper than just some “republican vs democrat” debate.

  5. Ellen Smock says:

    Well said. I love how people say “It’s what I believe” as though that excuses hate…well, kids, my fore fathers believed that the Bible told them it was okay to go to Africa and get slaves (and it did! It’s about 1 paragraph away from where is says a man lying with a man is bad) but we, as a country, agreed that slavery was wrong.

    I bet you’d be hard pressed to find a church that said “oh, yes, we should never have given up our slaves!!! God told us we could go get them!!”.

  6. Debi says:

    Proud of you for standing up for what you believe in Barb. Don’t ever let ANYONE make you doubt yourself ! YOU are YOU period and a DAMN GOOD ONE at that ❤

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