Gay Marriage – Is the fight for the right to marry misguided?


A friend of mine posted the above on his Facebook page…

Someone wrote the following as a comment : “Oh, I don’t know about this one. Total gun-related killings in NC in 2010: 445. Total killings via gay marriage: none documented. The focus on the removal of rights may be misdirected in this and other states…”

It’s this sort of dribble that just makes me crazy, and what drives me to continue to write about gay marriage…  Only a straight person who can marry and divorce as many times as they please would believe that the fight for gay marriage is misdirected.

Marriage should never be defined as gay or straight, it should simply be defined as the union of two people who love each other and want to share their lives together and have that union be recognized, validated and respected by friends, family, and their government. This is what a wedding – large or small – is all about; validation and respect.

What a good many straight people don’t understand is the stigma that has been placed on the gay community.  We don’t want to hide who we are, but society sure doesn’t make it easy for us to live openly.  With more and more laws being passed to prevent the gay community from being accepted as – well – human – we tend to wonder exactly where it is we fit in. We’re equal up to the point where the straight community hits their “ick” factor and then we must once again be reminded that we are not equal…

When there is not one politician running for President of the United States who will stand up and say they support gay marriage, gay marriage will continue to roll around in the muck and mire it’s been thrown in to.  When the current President says his feelings on gay marriage are evolving – what does that mean? You either support it – or you don’t.  If The President can’t – or more to the point – won’t – make a decision and express it to the country – why on earth would we expect the people who live here to be any more accepting than the President?

See – it’s not about equal rights for everyone – it’s about money and power and the haves and have-nots. It’s about getting elected at any cost – human or monetary.  It’s not about respect and tolerance – it’s about ignorance and bigotry. It’s not about the love that Jesus speaks of in this Bible the Christians love to quote – It’s about the hate that people seem to feel this Bible has given them the freedom to spew, and the laws of the land that allow this hate-filled ideology to exist.

Is the focus on the removal of rights misguided?  I’ll leave that up to you to decide. I just think it’s a little hard to focus on the removal of something you never had in the first place…

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About barbaraweicksel

My home is San Diego, CA - a most beautiful city. Mountains to the East, Pacific Ocean to the West, and the desert in between the mountains and the ocean. Beauty everywhere, but... The world is full of beauty, and I do love to travel. what I hope to share on these pages are my thoughts and some photos of the world as I see and experience it. I'd be happy to have you along on the journey - and then join me while I'm at home...
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17 Responses to Gay Marriage – Is the fight for the right to marry misguided?

  1. I am a christian and as a christian I believe certain things and live my life according to my beliefs. To try to force someone else to live like they have those same beliefs is ridiculous. God doesn’t operate that way and anybody who says they are working on behalf of God and then tries to force you to behave a certain way is a liar. Because God loves you he gives you free will. To force his will on you would be slavery. It’s very simple here, God modeled it for us, we should follow suit. Just because I disagree with something you do doesn’t give me the right to force you to stop. Some of these same people fighting for the government to limit the rights of homosexuals are the same people who yelled when the government wanted to step in and monitor gluttony. Quite telling.

    • barbaraweicksel says:

      daytrippergirl1974 – It’s been my experience that you are the exception to the rule. Thanks so much…

  2. Daz says:

    A possibly simplistic view from across the Pond:

    Is it possible that Obama is holding back on this because to openly support gay marriage before the election might damage his chances of re-election? I seem to recall comments somewhere to the effect that it’s common to push hot-button issues through early in a term, so they’re eclipsed by later events come the next election.

    Mind you, the fact that it’s an issue at all, let alone hot-button, is depressing to say the least.

    • barbaraweicksel says:

      It’s absolutely a hot-button issue and yes – the fact that it’s an issue at all is quite sad… The really sad thing is – the moment they get elected they are running for re-election so addressing any sort of hot-button issue seems to fall by the wayside… Thanks so much for reading and for the comment.

  3. Kate Flannery says:

    This was so passionate and right on – I wanted to stand and raise a fist in the air or something! Obama makes me ill on this issue (as well as so many others). Sure, it’s a political strategy on his part – which just goes to show how shallow and without character he is. If it was an issue of black or Hispanic people being allowed to be married or not, would that then be something he had to evolve about? This is so simply about human rights. And he wants to stand on the side of gay Americans by letting them get blown to bits in his military…but they can’t actually have all the other rights that Americans have? I mean, the degree of sliminess in that is just too much.

  4. I don’t like the way gay marriage, or gays, are lumped in with all the other riff-raff regarding the quote you posted. i do however agree with the sentiment that gays shouldn’t have to fight for equal rights, which is what the argument comes down to. The fight is seen as claiming something special when anyone with a lick of sense in their head should see it for what it is, a segment of society wanting equal rights/protections under the law.

    • barbaraweicksel says:

      I appreciate you reading and taking the time to comment… “The fight is seen as claiming something special when anyone with a lick of sense in their head should see it for what it is, a segment of society wanting equal rights/protections under the law.” thank you for that….

  5. “This is so simply about human rights.” No, it isn’t. Mind you, I SUPPORT letting people choose who they want to marry and when the want to have a child– legally. I had a father and step mother who had to drive to find a state where they could marry in the 60s– she was Black. (They are together now- in another realm.)

    When I was Jewish I was unimpeded y any moral restriction regarding sexuality. Abortion had been dealt with centuries before, and Reform Jews are very laissez faire indeed,

    Than I became a Baha’i and my thoughts abut some moral issues changed–but I still support NON theistic laws,. BUT MOST PEOPLE CANNOT MAKE THIS DISTINCTION.

    So to say “This is so simply about human rights” is to turn a blind eye to the sad but very human fact that this is not simple, emotionally or legally.Slavery was not simple. Abortion is not simple. And this issue is not simple.

    • barbaraweicksel says:

      You may not think it simple – but it certainly doesn’t have to be this divisive… We are all only human and deserving of the same rights. They shouldn’t be different for anyone…

    • Daz says:

      “This is so simply about human rights.” No, it isn’t.

      How so?

      Gay people are human beings.

      Human beings have, or should have, equal rights.

      Put the two together…

  6. Ellen Smock says:

    Barb…I think you misunderstood the comment that was made…I think that person was saying the fight for gun rights (included in the original graphic) is midirected because guns kill people. That’s just how I read it. Oh, and I just donated money to Obama…I’m hoping he has a huge spike in donations!

    • barbaraweicksel says:

      Ellen – Hmmmm that’s not how I read it – but then again – I wasn’t looking at it in that way.!! I have to say – Obama just got my vote back…. ♥

      • Ellen Smock says:

        Well, it inspired you to write something wonderful, so I guess it’s moot. I just saw: “Total gun-related killings in NC in 2010: 445. Total killings via gay marriage: none documented.” and thought, well, this person is not making a negative comments about gay marriage.

  7. MaryAnn says:

    I thank more Christians like daytripper1974 for standing up to be heard.
    I used to to call myself a Christian, but over the years I have found that religion seems to get in the way. How can some people call themselves Christian and do and say the things they do.Things that at times have made me say, “What were they thinking?!”. Now I am someone who loves the Lord. I believe that God created everyone and everything and he didn’t make any mistakes, we are ALL here for a reason. I try and live by, “do unto others as you would do to Me.” Can you imagine a world where people treated people like they would want to be treated? Also NO ONE has the right to judge anyone, I believe God is the only one we have to stand in judgement of. Remember the old saying, “don’t judge someone unless you have walked a mile in their shoes?” Would we say and do the things if we have if we had to walk the paths of those we judge?
    Barb, again another great piece, keep going on the journey, there are many of us that are proud to be along for the ride.

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