I suppose that life can be summed up in many different ways for many different people. I also suppose that most of us go through life trying the best with can with what we’ve been given.
I have a wonderful, sweet friend in her late 20’s who seems to believe that the life she’s living now isn’t exactly what it is she’s supposed to be doing. She loves her job, and she’s wonderful at what she does, but… it’s not what she wants to be doing. Who among us in our 50’s or 60’s was doing what we were supposed to be doing in our late 20’s? Do I have a show of hands?
When I was in my late 20’s, I was still living my life as a straight, married, family girl. As we all know – this was not the life I was supposed to be living, and yet – I wasted another 30 years before I had the courage to stand on my own and live my life.
Well, perhaps the word wasted is a little strong – perhaps I should say; frittered away – No, I really should say wasted, for that’s exactly what those years were; wasted. Not just for me, but for a lot of other people who were wrapped up in my little straight fantasy! I didn’t have the courage or the strength and support of family to live my life. So, I lived the life that everyone wanted me to have.
My sweet friend has so much more going for her in her late 20’s, and has accomplished more than I ever believed was possible in my life, at that age. She’s got a great job with mega responsibility, she’s strong, sweet, loving, smart and living her life openly with the love and support of her family and friends. I only wish she knew how lucky she is and how blessed her life really is. I believe she does, I just want her to really know how blessed she is.
Yes, I do know how important the whole career thing is, and I know we all are meant to be doing something – but… in between the jobs and the promotions and the stress and the anxiety – what is it you have? You have your life. Your life, the one you’re meant to be living.
I don’t want to see my sweet friend waste any of her time. Life is short and who’s to say how many chances we get to live the life we were meant to live. Yes, it may be hard, and yes, it may go against the grain of the people who believe they know what’s best for you. The reality is – most people don’t know what is best for you, they just want some sort of control over you – at least this has been my experience with the people in my life who seemed to delight in running my life for me, and who still spend their time thinking of ways to come between me and this life of mine.
The bottom line is – only you know what is best for you. Only you know who you are – and only you can make the wonder that is your life fall into place. What’s best for you may be one thing in your 20’s and something completely different in your 40’s. Go with it – follow your path.
It’s never too late to change course, it’s never too late to get an education, and it’s never too late to start over. As long as you are willing to do the work, your life can always, always be changed. It’s never too late to walk away from a situation that is unhealthy for you – as long as you have hope, and desire and passion for something new, it’s never, ever too late.
I’ve told my sweet friend all of this, and I wanted to write it for her so on days when she feels trapped, she’ll know that she isn’t. The thing to remember is that sometimes simply living your life is what you’re meant to be doing. No demands on yourself, no pressure to achieve any out of reach goals – just simply living your life with the person you love, and your friends and if you’re blessed, a family who loves and supports you.
By the time you hit your 60s you’ll be wishing you had spent more time nurturing those friendships and more time lying next to the love of your life just being silent.
I’ll go with my favorite quote from the movie “The Way” when the son wants his father to travel with him, and the father tells him he can’t because he chose his life as an Ophthalmologist. The son looks at his father and says: “You don’t choose a life Dad, you live one.”
Live your life, my sweet friend… It’s my belief that the life you are meant to live will choose you – you just have to be ready for it ♥