Revenge isn’t always best served cold – Sometimes you just shouldn’t serve it at all!


I had a chance yesterday to say something to someone that might have hurt them – however – it would have settled an old score for me – and I choose not to say it.

I won’t go into the details – I’ll just say that the opportunity was there for me to finally have my say , to finally get back some of what I feel has been taken from me  my entire life – and I let it go by. It was right there in front of me – I had the email written – I’d said what would have hit home and produced the hurt I had intended it to do. My thoughts of revenge and settling this score would finally come to an end, and that part of my life could finally move forward, and instead of hitting send – I hit delete.

For about an hour after I deleted the email I heard what appeared to be chicken noises in my head.  You know what I mean – those noises people make that sound like chickens clucking when they want to mock you for being weak.   I argued with myself and I went back and forth about getting my revenge and yet when the time came – I let the chance go by. Perhaps I deserved the chorus of chicken clucking that was ringing in my head.

The question I asked myself was this:  Would it be worth it to send this snarky, well-written email and continue to stir this pot of discontent?  My answer was no – it most certainly would not.  I wanted it to be over not to carry on for the rest of my life.  And if I enacted this selfish act of revenge what would happen next?  It’s already been a life-long road of dodging slings and arrows; I just want to walk on the road with no fear.

I’d like to think I chose the higher road.  I don’t believe for one moment that the slings and arrows will still not be thrown in my direction – I just feel that now I’m on a different road and those slings and arrows won’t hit me.  You know?   People can only hurt you if you allow them to hurt you.  My decision yesterday was my way of saying: “I’m done here, you can’t hurt me anymore.”  They can stay locked in the past, keeping old wounds open and festering wallowing in what has become their life, I’m not going to play their game or live by their rules any longer. 60 years is long enough.

My life is so much more than this game ever was – so much more than revenge and time wasted plotting revenge for events that are long over and words that were said years ago. I’ve been plotting for almost 60 years – I’m going to spend the rest of my time plotting better things – like learning French for my return trip to Paris. “Un chocolat croissant et une tasse de café, s’il vous plait.”

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About barbaraweicksel

My home is San Diego, CA - a most beautiful city. Mountains to the East, Pacific Ocean to the West, and the desert in between the mountains and the ocean. Beauty everywhere, but... The world is full of beauty, and I do love to travel. what I hope to share on these pages are my thoughts and some photos of the world as I see and experience it. I'd be happy to have you along on the journey - and then join me while I'm at home...
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8 Responses to Revenge isn’t always best served cold – Sometimes you just shouldn’t serve it at all!

  1. Cheryl wentz says:

    One of the many reasons I place a high value on our friendship is YOU do and say the right things in life. I adore the balance in your life – you are a really good person. Thanks for the life lessons that your blog is all about.

    • barbaraweicksel says:

      Thank you Cheryl. You know, of course that I don’t always do the right thing… In this case tho, it was the right thing – not the most fun thing – but the right thing! I struggle – as we all do, but it’s people like you in my life who keep me on that higher ground ♥

  2. You, Me & Everything In Between says:

    Well done…if others took a leaf out of your book…the world may indeed be a better place – I’m impressed 🙂

  3. Bonnie Barbour says:

    That wasn’t clucking noises Barb, that was your subconscious saying neener neener neener!!!!! I’m above that behavior now. Revenge may sound sweet but it usually causes us even more grief down the road. Kudo’s to you my friend for realizing just how far you have come and how comfortable you are with who you are. Like you said, others can only hurt us if we let them. Stay on that high ground Barb it’s where you belong. vya

    • barbaraweicksel says:

      Bonnie – It took me awhile to find the higher ground, but – now that I’me there – I’m just going to stay there. It’s a lot less confusing! Thanks so much for reading and for your support. It means so much to me. Love to you.. ♥

  4. Debi says:

    So proud of you! Barb, you are the better person and glad you are moving on.
    Your life is so blessed now….grab it by the horns and enjoy every second from here on out. I am so glad we had the opportunity to spend time together and I hope we will continue to see each other as we reach the golden years…lol…seeing as you are OLDER than me, you will be there first…
    Hugs ❤

  5. Ellen says:

    I’m a huge fan of the “letter unsent” or the “email unsent”…write it out, read it, even save it so you can read it later…but don’t send it unless you’re prepared to lose that relationship.

    It’s often much harder to do than to say.

    I’m also a big fan of the screaming rant in the bathroom mirror. Just let that person have it….if only he/she were on the other side of the mirror….

    Heck, combine the two: write it out, take it to the bathroom and read it to the mirror!

    You have to get that out. It’s really the only way to stay sane.

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