Why do women not respect other women when it comes to men?

So this morning as we were surfing through the hundreds of channels on our television trying to find something that would fill that Sunday morning lazy feeling – we happened upon a show about being a mistress.  Now these weren’t just any mistresses these were celebrity mistresses.

I sat quietly through as much as the show as I could but when one of these women told us that she was comfortable with who she was and what she did – I had to get up and walk away.  To think she felt her life was perfectly normal going from affair to affair with no concern or compassion for the turmoil she may have left in her wake almost made my head explode.

I’m no angel – and I’ve made my mistakes in my life – some I’m not particularly proud of and quite frankly some I’m not comfortable with. I’ve made my apologies where I felt they were necessary and I’ve walked away from people and situations that were not healthy on many levels. Still – I hurt people who were totally innocent because I was selfish. The thing is – I learned from these mistakes and didn’t make them again.

I question why don’t women care more about other women than they do?  When you sleep with a married man – do you not understand that you’re hurting another woman?  Oh yes, the man is cheating on his wife, but what are you doing?

What I don’t understand is why the women who are having the affair don’t understand the anger of the cheaters wife.  The man cheats on his wife – he leaves his wife for his mistress – he marries his mistress – and the new wife, his ex-mistress, doesn’t understand the anger of the ex-wife and his children, if he has children.  Seriously? You don’t understand? Personally I believe the ex-wife has the right to be angry and bitter and hateful for the rest of her life.  She wasn’t only betrayed by her husband – she was betrayed by another woman.

The world shouldn’t be about who comes out on top – so to speak! You marry someone because you believe they will be honest and faithful in all things – especially when it comes to sex. There is nothing more personal than sex. Nothing that leaves you more vulnerable, more emotionally raw than sex.  And nothing will hurt you more when you know the person you share your bed with also shares another woman’s bed. If you don’t have that honesty – that intimacy – what exactly is it that you do have?

And why do women take that intimacy away from other women? And – if he cheats on his wife what makes you believe he won’t cheat on you? And how can you cheat with the husband of a woman who is your friend? Does the sex matter more than the friendship? Will the man and his penis be the thing that comforts you when your world falls apart or will it be the love, compassion and friendship of the women in your life? Why don’t we put more emphasis on that bond between women? Why don’t we respect that more than we do?

The show this morning about the Celebrity Mistress was a mockery of marriage, and a kick in the face to faithful women everywhere. I just don’t understand that sort of disrespect women have for other women.

I suppose the next thing will be the Mistress Idol show with married men judges and a married celebrity waiting in the wings with a single red rose for his conquest!

And it’s “the gays” who are ruining marriage…


About barbaraweicksel

My home is San Diego, CA - a most beautiful city. Mountains to the East, Pacific Ocean to the West, and the desert in between the mountains and the ocean. Beauty everywhere, but... The world is full of beauty, and I do love to travel. what I hope to share on these pages are my thoughts and some photos of the world as I see and experience it. I'd be happy to have you along on the journey - and then join me while I'm at home...
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6 Responses to Why do women not respect other women when it comes to men?

  1. Experiencing this situation on both sides, it always leaves a swath of emotion, sadness, shame and personal regret. The man wasn’t worth it – the women always suffer. You describe it perfectly.

    • barbaraweicksel says:

      I’ve been on both sides too, Cheryl and it’s been my women friends who have stabbed my in the back – and my women friends who have lifted me up! I just can’t imagine making a career out of being a mistress – just sayin…

  2. Excuse me–an affair is not caused by the “other woman”- it is caused by a plethora of factors of which the wife (who has ignored the problems in the relationship) is one part. It takes TWO to mess up a marriage–BOTH spouses. And yes, I have been the one dumped and yes, he married the other woman. But I knew exactly why. I was not bittier then and I am not now,

    • barbaraweicksel says:

      I never said that the affair was caused by the other woman and I’m happy for you that you’re not bitter. My entire point was that women need to respect each other more than they do, and not every woman knows why her husband cheats or why the other woman would do this to her. I’m just talking respect for each other as women… I wasn’t talking about the men – I was talking about the women and how we need to watch out for one another and be kinder – that’s it…

  3. I'mKar'n Leslie says:

    Excellent question, Linda, one i’ve often asked myself! We girls need to stick together and just say NO!! Maybe have a little self-respecct if no empathy for the wife! In my opinion all shame went out the window with the advent of the internet! Just my opinion…

  4. I understand the point you were making Barbara. There is an overall lack of accountability that runs rampant in the world today. Some people just don’t want to own up to the fact that they played a role in someone else’s unhappiness because of their own motives. I think we do need to remember that friendship is important and that actions speak louder than words. It is important to imagine ourselves in other people’s shoes, and think before we make decisions that may ultimately cost us much more than they are worth.

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