Here is aquestion for you to ponder on this second day of our Share the Love project…
If you havesomeone in your life who is never there for you, always disappoints you, never,ever lives up to what you expect from them, has never been the person youwanted them to be– whose fault is it that you are always hurt by this person?
I know fromexperience that it’s easier to push the blame on the other person so we cancome out on the other end appearing as the victim; the poor soul who has spenttheir life trying to live through the emotional vacuum that is this troubledrelationship.
The question I need to ask you though, is this; Is it yourfault for continuing to expect something this other person is either not ableto give you or is not willing to give you? If you continue to suffer the slingsand arrows of this relationship and the other person simply keeps happilyliving their life never changing, never expecting more – how can you possiblybelieve that the blame lies with the other person?
I spentyears blaming my brother, when in reality, the blame was really with me forallowing who he really is to hurt and disappoint me. He never professed to be anything other thanwhat he was – it was what I wanted him to be that caused all the damage.
At somepoint we all have to find within ourselves the courage to know and understandthat some people are never going to be the person we would want them to be. Andhonestly, why would they be? Why wouldwe think ourselves so important that a person would change who they are forus? And if you want them to change – whywould you want to be with them in the first place? I mean – if you go into anysort of relationship thinking you’re going to change someone – you are going tobe the one being hurt and disappointed.